Growing

Journey to the Soul

Have you ever contemplated the cusps in your life? You know, those points when everything changes. A sailor calls it a “sea change.” Christians might say “born again.” I was once at a seminar where we were urged to draw our lives and then discuss our pictures in a small group. For someone lacking the required eye-hand coordination required for a complex drawing, I chose simple icons to represent the major phases of my life. I was surprised at how clear each piece was; the cusps were easily defined by major events. Loneliness, misery, heartache were quickly sketched and dispatched. Then there’s a big heart, describing the best phase – the fifteen years with my husband.

Looking at my life from the perspective of these simple cartoons, I realize that everything changed. Yes, EVERYTHING changed once I felt loved completely, thoroughly, with no reservations. My pain slowly began to heal; I gained self-confidence that had always eluded me. I did things that I never thought I could do before, and I began a journey of self-discovery. All it took was love.

But I don’t want to perpetuate the myth of the knight in shining armor or prince charming. What I really speak of is the transformative qualities of love. Because once I felt his love, I began to find my own. And when I found love in my heart, I found the map to my soul.

Chris de Burgh sings “The Mirror of the Soul.” My favorite part is near the end:
… a power greater from the world’s creator
Gave us love to light the mirror of our soul,
Only love can light the mirror of our soul.

So experiencing real love, not the kind in storybooks or magazines, helped me unlock all the hidden places. It helped me see the world, myself, and everyone else with new eyes. My perspective altered forever. My fears were no longer the most dominating force in my life. I opened myself up to looking for all the wonderful things that life has to offer. And the things it has to offer just keep coming. The wonderment constantly surprises and amazes me. When we rescued dogs, cats, and parrots, we’re really just paying it forward. We rescued ourselves when we found each other, because that love sparked a journey to our souls.

Categories: Growing, love, Relationships

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13 replies »

  1. I found myself first and as I learned to love, respect, and honor all of who I am, I met an amazing man who loves me totally. This is what I think: Others love us the way we love ourself.

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      • I totally sensed that you had a journey to self in order to be loved the way you described. I honor your journey and your gift for putting your words down for me to read. I relate to your words and think for sure that we must be kindred spirits. Life is beautiful, isn’t it?

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        • Yes, the journey to love myself has been long, winding, and fraught with difficulty. I have a long ways to go, but must acknowledge to myself that I’ve made some progress. Thank you for your insight and encouragement.

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        • I only blog once a week. Comments, and staying up on other people’s blogs are time-consuming and hard to do on my smartphone! I’ve got to figure that part out better. But the main reason is that I’m not a litigator. I work in civil rights, and we’re not just attorneys – we’re normal people!

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  2. This was very beautiful and moving. I often think about the many changes that have brought me to my life at present. I am happy with my life, and I am where I am because of every decision – big and small – that I have made.

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    • Thanks. It’s good to hear from someone who’s happy with their decisions. Most of us still think that we are required to suffer somehow, like we don’t deserve happiness. Good for you!

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