Philosophical

Waiting for the Clean Sweep

Crestone, Colorado

Fall is into full swing here; we’ve had three snows (the last one 2 inches deep) and nights are getting cold, 20 degrees (Fahrenhight) on a regular basis. But the snows melt pretty quickly ,and it gets warm still, during the day. Why am I obsessed with the weather? Because it makes me sick. Literally. Every year, fall is my Achilles heel. I’m allergic to the mold that grows in decaying vegetation, and I’ve been sick almost non-stop for the past month.  As soon as one “cold” leaves, a week later, another one begins. As a child, I was sick every Christmas, due to the mold living in the Christmas tree we kept.

What is this really about? I think part of it is a deep, subconscious rebellion against the inevitable death and decay that fall brings. I’m all about evolution of myself, my soul, and my outlook. Fall is about devolution, decay, and endings. Now we all know that all good things, and not so good things, must come to an end.

Crestone, Colorado

But ends make me nervous; I’ve had some endings that weren’t very happy. I’ve also had endings (can you say “divorce?”) that were scary, but gave me the freedom to rebuild.  No matter how happy or sad I was about the end, I enjoy getting to rebuild. Logically, I know that the end must come, or it just gets in the way of rebuilding. Now, I can rebuild while destruction continues, but I must recognize that an end is coming if I want to rebuild in time for a smooth transition. But the grief of what is lost continues.

Near Gunnison, Colorado

I’ve not gotten as critically sick this year, although this latest cold isn’t over yet. I know that it’s aggravated by unexpressed grief that I hold in my heart, which manifests as asthma and bronchitis. So far, I haven’t been as sick as usual, but it just won’t quit. It’s a partial victory; I’ll take it.

Soon, the real cold weather will come, I hope. When the temperature dips below zero

Near Gunnison, Colorado

degrees for several days,  the mold spores die, and I breathe freely for the rest of the year! My asthma takes a vacation again until the next year.  I’d probably do better if I lived in the dessert, with no vegetation to die and decay. But I love Colorado, the rocks and aspens. I have no plans to ever return to the dust and tumbleweeds of west Texas. So, I’m just waiting for the bitter cold, free breathing, and a cleansing of the old. I need that clean sweep.

Lake City, Colorado

15 replies »

  1. It seems we are always obsessed with weather. It really controls so much of our life. I am constantly clicking on the weather channel. It
    seems we can’t make a move without knowing what the temperature will be. I have the weather thing on my desktop. I have missed out on things because of a weather forecast. Better not do such and such because there is a chance of rain. And it does affect our bodies so. It is the pressure they say that makes me ache so. Although I live where the seasons are not extreme….hot summers but rather mild winters, I would miss the seasons.

    Peace to you and hope you are feeling better. I always appreciate seeing your gravatar on my blog.

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    • I’m at the point of “bring it on” for the weather these days – easy for me to say because I don’t live in the hurricane zone! I’m feeling a little more human, but still hoping for sub-zero weather! Thanks for stopping by.

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    • Yes! What a wonderful classic! I’ve used a lot of alternative means to reduce the severity of illness each year, and my sensitivities, but they aren’t gone all the way. (sigh) Maybe next year I’ll do better.

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  2. Excellent post, and way to focus on the positive! In southern Alberta we’re now blanketed under a lot of snow and I’ve been veery thankful for that crisp, cold air eliminating those dreaded fall molds. Not to mention putting all the insects to sleep! I too am prone to bronchitis and wish you a speedy and complete recovery. Blessings, Gina

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  3. I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve been sick for so long, and that it happens every year. How miserable! Still, a good end is near – the end of this month-long cold and the beginning of frost. Personally I love fall, but I’d probably feel the same as you if I suffered so much during the season. Hang in there!

    PS~ gorgeous photos – you live in a beautiful area!

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  4. You have my sympathy, sweet child. As your mom, I can tell you that I share the November curse of severe allegeric reactions. I am also sick every Nov and sometimes into early December. My allergies get worse every year….and now I am 75….so if I live a long life, no telling how bad they will get! The allergies and asthma appear to be in our genes. You just got an extra strong dose of those genes for which I am sorry. We wish you colder weather soon.

    Love
    Mom

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    • Allergies are only the start! It triggers the asthma and then it devolves into the bronchitis. Thank goodness for the nebulizer! You can hear me coughing a long ways off. The parrot imitates my asthma cough wonderfully. I think that she thinks its our “flock call” because she hears it so much! (A flock call is a little sound birds make periodically so that the other flock members are reassured that they are okay, and can discern where they are.)

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