redwood trees, California

Love and Light Like a Freight Train

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A train, roaring down the tracks, near Silverton, Colorado.
A train, roaring down the tracks, near Silverton, Colorado.

What does God’s love feel like? Is it like a tender whisper, a passionate cry, or a fast and powerful freight train? It can be all of those, but I can’t say that I ever believed it could be until I had a chance to experience it all in a new and unique way.

I recently took an intense course in channeling divine love as a way of healing others. I was born with a healing touch, which I now know is one reason why I have a way with animals, and I thought I might be able to do this. For many years, I experienced chronic pain that limited my ability to walk much. At my sickest, I couldn’t complete a simple grocery shopping trip because of the pain, or use my hands to type. In an open-minded search for anything that would stop the pain, I received Reiki one day and was amazed that, if only for a little while, my pain was reduced. I decided to learn how to do it myself, and so I began to learn about the healing power of energy and became eventually became a Reiki Master. I worked to clear out all my old baggage but a lot remained. I armored myself against the world emotionally, and this, I now know, influenced the pain I experienced.

Much like a radio can transmit/receive numerous (invisible) radio frequencies, I learned additional energy frequencies to receive and transmit. Each had different qualities, and I learned to intuit which energy was most appropriate at a given time.

Love can flow like water, receptive rather than active, but still powerful. Waterfall at Crater Lake National Park, Oregon.
Love can flow like water, receptive rather than active, but still powerful.
Waterfall at Crater Lake National Park, Oregon.
chared trunks left behind by forest fire
Inside, I thought I was this. (A forest fire burned this area of Lassen Volcanic National Park in 2012)

I recently felt guided to take a new class that I thought would be more of the same. Boy was I wrong! In this new modality, we were taught how to channel pure, divine love, to the extent that we could. I wasn’t sure I could do it. Channel information or energy, sure, but Divine Love? How could I be capable of that? Luckily, the group helped me to learn and heal along the way.

When the instructor told me to find the way within me to release pure love, I envisioned a waterfall of love/light cascading from Source (or the Creator, God, Goddess, or whatever entity is responsible for this sweet mess of life) into my head and heart, then out my hands, heart, and breath. I was amazed how it felt. It felt like the Indian mystics described a kundalini experience, and much more.

How do you think the Creator’s love feels? I thought it would be like some delicate flower of energy or a compassionate glow. I was amazed when it felt like an almighty freight train coursing through my whole body. No part of me was untouched. This purposeful blast of heat and energy stripped away all that was not really me. That’s the only way I can describe it. All the pain, baggage, history, disappointment, and self-judgment just fell off of me in chunks and sheets until all that was left was who I really am. I was changed.

As my class practiced the technique on me, I continued to heal. I took the class

beautiful redwood trees
This is how Spirit sees me. (Redwood National Park, California)

with the intention to help others, and in the process, I was helped immeasurably. Unable to defy this powerful engine coursing love through my body, my pain was gone. For the first time in 12 years, it didn’t hurt to walk. My joints were free of pain, and I was happy – something that I never thought possible.

Sometimes the Creator’s love felt like a golden freight train of power, at other times a silver waterfall that was powerful but more feminine and receptive. Then,

the love transcended to a pure, white light. I haven’t fully mastered this technique – I’ve just begun, but I have started to effect healing in others.

I cannot maintain that ecstatic state of mind continuously, but having seen who I really am, I can’t return to that place where I used to be. I will not limit myself anymore by my fears and self-criticism. I see pain in a whole new way and made peace with my past. I don’t want to speak of those days ever again; there is no need. I’ve developed new creative ideas that I can’t wait to work on. The tenor of this blog will change; I hope you are willing to change with me.

Water as tranquility, transitioning to power. N. Umpqua River, Oregon
Water as tranquility, transforming to power. N. Umpqua River, Oregon


  1. Wonderful read. I never been to any spiritual class because I have my own belief…but it’s really nice to read other people’s perspective on God’s love.


    1. It was Emergence Care, taught by Steven Teagarden, D.C. See: He’s based in Arizona, but is teaching occasionally in Colorado, Texas, and California. I don’t know if he has any plans to go east or not — he might if you have an interested group. I know you’d be good at this!


  2. Beautiful!! I also had chronic pain, until last year, that was diagnosed as rheumatoid arthritis. I have always been intrigued by this pain, how it came to me, just as I was fully committing to work in a deep way with energy and vulnerability. Yes, I also remember grocery shopping…I would cry on the way to the supermarket and eventually get most of the list completed, often with help from the staff. I also, more now than then, appreciate the gift the pain gave me. It was telling me truths about myself – the greatest one, love thyself fully, creatively, with joyfulness.


    1. Sounds like we’re walking similar paths. I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease too. After much work changing g my life, I went into complete remission in 2007, and went off all pain meds and immune suppressants. Still, there was lingering ache and stiffness in my back and joints. That is gone now! Thanks for sharing your story with me; I enjoy knowing you better.


  3. As always, your pictures are mind boggling beautiful! You are truly blessed with a wonderful gift. I am so pleased that you have had such a
    wonderful experience. I look forward to all your blogs and now I will be doubly eager to read them. Thank you for sharing!



    1. You asked what I’ve been up to, but I just haven’t had time to put it all into words until this weekend. I’m glad you enjoyed the pictures.


        1. I’m glad to hear he’s on the mend. Sugar gliders can be hard to treat — especially when they don’t want to take their meds. You and Phillip must be doing a good job; I hope you aren’t too scratched up!


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