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Are you a planner, dreamer, or both? What happens when you’ve worked toward a dream for a long time, yet it hasn’t quite come to fruition? Sometimes, we have to reconsider everything. It was a good dream at the time and the plan may have been perfect. But is the destination still what we want?
I may have been overcome by intervening events, causing me to question where I’m going. Do I just keep going, determined to reach my destination, assuming that I still want the vision that fit years ago? Have you ever questioned your ambitions? Well, all of them that remain outstanding, that is?
Lately, I’ve been feeling overcome by events and I’ve started to wonder if there is not only a better plan, but a better destination. I need to reevaluate the dreams of my youth, the plans of my older years, and where I am right now. The longer I walk this road, the more vested I feel. I’m almost afraid to consider that the time was wasted. Yet, what if the desires of my younger years aren’t really what I want any more? How do I release one dream so that I may embrace another? What if I’m just experiencing a moment of fatigue, and with a little more effort, I can achieve the first dream and then start the next? How do I know if I am truly ready to change?
I think that it is important to question everything, including myself. And this is the path I’m on today. What about you? Have you been there, done that? Do you have any words of wisdom?
Peace With My Life 
For me the path is a bit circuitous. I started out with a dream that didn’t come to fruition and, while I didn’t forget it, I wandered down some other paths, as I tried to figure out what to do and how to live. Eventually I questioned the dream. What I’m being led to is a new version of the dream, with more elements to it. And it’s turning out that each of those side paths gave me a skill or a bit of understanding, insight or knowledge that’s being woven into the new version of the path.
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I think that’s where I’m going. A new version with more elements. I’m doing things I never dreamed of when I was younger! Thank you for pointing out how they can coexist.
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When you were young you could afford to dream about what YOU wanted. Now that you are older you have to consider that your life is not yours alone. Your life is shared by all those who love you and who to whom you are obligated by motherhood, lifetime companionship as a wife, and any other ties of the heart that stay with you forever. So, can your dreams be yours alone? How do you mix dreams and obligation. It isn’t fair that one should eliminate the other. They should boost each other to accomplish- ment. In reality, it doesn’t always work that way. That is where compromise enters. You are wise to be re-evaluating. We all need to do that from time to time and it reveals maturity. The trick with dreams is matching maturity with wisdom. Few ever realize all their dreams. Is that even a fair expectation? But surely, everyone should be able to accomplish some of their dreams. Which dreams have satisfaction and which dreams have contribution? Dreams should be more than whims of satisfaction. I am certain that yours are more than whims of satisfaction so perhaps then the major consideration is contribution.
Good luck!
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Thank you for your comments. Maybe I’m not following you, because I don’t believe I have an obligation to anyone else in my family/cohorts when I consider my dreams; they are mine alone. The my kids are mostly grown, and I don’t feel like they have a say; they have their own dreams to cultivate. My husband/partner needs to be on board, because my income and time commitments affect him, but the content of my dreams are mine alone. They have a lot to do with what I think I am capable of and what the world responds to. I seem to be taking my old dreams and re-infusing them with some new flavors, more than anything!
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That’s a huge crossroads. I think many of us find ourselves at that same crossroads at least once in our lives (sometimes more than once). Have you considered making a list of the things you’ve wanted to achieve throughout your life? If they seem to have nothing in common, you can break them down into the things about each one that draws or drew you to it; sometimes there are commonalities, and you can discover a new or modified route to achieve the basic goals. A brief example (and extremely oversimplified!): All my life I wanted to be an archaeologist, I’ve wanted to be a writer since the age of 8; later I also wanted to be a lawyer; I feel drawn to historical locations; and several other things. No one can achieve all these in one lifetime, and I was achieving none because life got in the way. When I broke them down, I realized there were a few common links: research, writing, and history. That opened up new, achievable pathways for me; now I’m a freelance writer/journalist with a focus on history/archaeology/antiques; I made up my mind to write at least one book, which I’ve just finished; and I’m an avocational archaeologist active in state-wide digs. Research is one of my favorite things to do, which each of these things requires, writing is part of them all, and historical research satisfies my interest in many historical avenues. So, after a very long-winded answer, that’s how I realigned my dreams and goals. There’s more, of course – there always is – but you get the idea. 🙂
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My early goals appear to be overcome by events. Now I can do far more, and I have to narrow the field or be spread too thin. I love your example. Thank you.
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How do you want to feel? Don’t put words to it, instead, tap into how you would like to feel. Now, feel into your dreams and plans one by one. Notice which ones match how you want to feel. Those are the ones you keep. It’s easier to let go of the others when you see they are no longer a match to the feelings you desire. There’s more, but that’s a great place to start and I hope it helps. Blessings….
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Thank you. I’m going to try this when I have a little quiet time.
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