Sometimes I feel stuck. Not in every aspect of my life, but in a particular place or two that isn’t fulfilling or the way that I want it to be. I usually watch it for a while, dissatisfied with being stuck, but not ready to act. When I’m ready to do something, though, I’m not always sure what to do, particularly if my discomfort is social, not technical. I read a book recently though that gave me some good ideas.
I received a book from Hay House, in return for an honest review. The fact that the book was personally helpful was a bit of a surprise, because the book is about grief. Second Firsts by Christina Rasmussen (available at Amazon)is about recovering from deep-seated grief, typically experienced after the death of a spouse or child. It’s about starting over from a place where you aren’t sure you can move. I haven’t had such an event and don’t expect one (knock on wood), so at first, I passed up this book. I was intuitively drawn to it, however, and so I finally selected it and began to read. Yes, it is about how to recover from soul-numbing grief, but it is also a plan for getting unstuck after other major set-backs such as a divorce, broken engagement, job termination, or other emotionally-jarring event. You know how a major set-back can make everything just look too hard to attempt? I’m not that way in every part of my life, but there are a few hold-outs that need rehabilitation.
The book helped me understand what was going on internally and build new pathways in my brain so that it is less likely to go down the same old highway and more willing to go down a new, more pleasant road. I learned a process to move from unable-to-do-anything to being-where-I-want-to-be using small, self-compassionate steps. I’m action-oriented in some ways, and am good at making plans and breaking a large task into smaller tasks. Here, I learned that teeny tiny non-threatening steps count. And I need to be sure I do them. Why hadn’t I applied this principle to non-technical issues such as being more socially comfortable in groups or developing friendships? These things are a bit difficult for me, and I didn’t really know how to start. It never occurred to me to make a plan, or what kind of steps I could take. The book is full of examples and ideas of tiny steps that lead to a long journey. It held my hand and showed me the way. I can take this as far as I’d like in repairing the broken places in my life.
I could say more, but I think you get the idea. Besides, my life has taken a few big steps lately in some areas of my life, challenging the less-happy areas to catch up. I think I have some thinking to do and changes to initiate – one small step at a time!
FTC Disclosure: I received this book for free from Hay House Publishing for this review. The opinion in this review is unbiased and reflects my honest judgment of the product.
So true — taking the tiny steps leads to feeling more confident about the bigger ones. At present I’m also working to move forward by means of small changes. It’s all too easy to overlook the need for them, and then stagnancy builds up over the years until everything feels harder than it ought to be. This year I’ve resolved to lift my mood and embrace a kinder and more peaceful mindset by visiting and commenting on a positive blog every day. Glad I found my way here today; there’s much helpful insight to ponder!
Thank you for your kind words. A little pondering is good for the soul! I’m taking my own advice today and went to the forest to take some photos. Good luck with your small steps and changes !
Sounds like a great book. I love your post – it’s so true. Sometimes we do get stuck, frozen in place. I think that happens to most people at some point. I too have experienced this and am now moving out of that “stuck” time in my life. I will check out this book, thank you for sharing.
Your welcome. It was surprisingly helpful.
Thanks. I needed to hear that. Now. What a universe we’re in that sends the message at the right moment.
It came to me the same way! Good luck.
Just the fact that you recognize you have some areas of your life that could be better and that you can do something to make them better is a giant step…not a teeny tiny one. You are willing to take responsibility for your life and your self development. That is a very important step.