Growing

Stasis

Bengal cat

Cats make waiting look so elegant. I’m sure I look more like a train wreck!

The past few months have been pretty hard. I’ve felt like I was in stasis. I didn’t want to move backward, but I couldn’t move forward. I began to question everything in my life. Surely changing something would help? I felt disconnected from myself and from everyone else. I stopped seeing my friends, reduced time with my family and stopped doing all the things that I typically enjoy most; they were just too hard.

It took me a few weeks to realize that I was uninspired to write here. I was tired, and it never seemed to stop. I finally saw an Integrative medicine specialist and we’re trying a few things. I like this specialty; it looks at health in the context fo the mind, body and spirit, which suits me. After all, these three parts of me all affect my health.

unripe cherries

These cherries are in the middle of their growth trajectory. They look like they are just sitting there, but they are maturing. I hope I am too!

Somehow, having so little physical energy affected me emotionally, too. It felt like my entire life had come to a halt. No progress appears to be made. If I don’t feel inspired, though, I can’t make myself do much beyond the minimum. I was just existing, wondering when I’d get that cosmic kick in the butt to get going again.

Am I the only one here with a bad case of the droopy-drawers? I’ve heard a few stories from friends that are eerily similar, so my guess is that I’m not. This seems to be a time of quiet growth and ripening among us all. It’s not just the crops in the field; it’s us, too. I feel a ripening coming, and I think it’s closer than I first thought. In the meantime, I soak up the sun and feel some unseen plan falling together.

 

wheat field

These plants can’t return to seed. They have no choice but to continue slow, quiet growth until they are ready for harvest.

16 replies »

  1. Yes, I do experience this aloneness. I know that it is a chosen path to be at peace with. We have been taught to socialize ourselves with no mention of the restorative time alone. The time that it takes to get to know ourselves can take what seems like forever. It can take years. I am with you in love. Jewel

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  2. I’ve been feeling much the same way so yes, I think something deep and profound is being recalibrated in so many of us. I do feel things will move forward, there seems to be a shift in the wind! Namaste, Aleya

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  3. Since you read my blog you probably know I have been in that space also, of not having the energy or impetus to keep up keeping on with all I did. I knew it was time to let it all go & be very quiet. I am now seeing & knowing there are “bigger” fish to fry here. There is a huge shift taking place & you are obviously a big part of it. You are a sensitive soul & I am delighted to know you.❤️

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    • You are so sweet! It feels like an undulation in The Force. I felt a low point before a large wave hit. Then, I had to quietly hold it together until the huge energy wave has gone. Now, I see that it’s a whole new landscape. Things look the same at first, but they aren’t. There has been a large shift and I feel like this is just one of the early ones. More are coming, closer together and more intense. I think they’ve been going on for a while, but I’m just now seeing the pattern and feel the effects. It had a palatable effect, and I think I’m starting to pull out. It’s not mental or physical as much as energetic. Thank you for dropping in. I miss you. I’m excited to hear about your new, bigger project.share when and what you can!

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  4. I can understand that feeling, too. It seems that it could happen to everyone.
    But usually people (especially in Eastern culture) won’t think about medicine specialty or things alike because it’s expensive and it makes us/others think that we’re not ‘normal.’
    Sad but true. It’s one of the problem in my country. At the beginning it might be just stasis, but it’d go on and become serious when people try to hide their weakness and pretend to be happy and strong.

    That’s why I admire what you do here, to look into yourself and face it.
    With love

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    • Thank you. I’m glad that I can deal with this in a healthy way. I’m not depressed, just very low energy. A few supplements are helping, and then I experienced an energetic shift and everything changed. I felt good enough to write again! But it took me a while to acknowledge I was in a funk. Thank you for your encouragement to deal rather than cover it up.

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    • I know that seeing a doctor was a bit odd, but blood tests revealed some minor issues to deal with., Addressing those really made a difference in how I felt physically. And yes, I had to face it; I don’t deceive myself very well.

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