Stasis

The past few months have been pretty hard. I’ve felt like I was in stasis. I didn’t want to move backward, but I couldn’t move forward. I began to question everything in my life. Surely changing something would help? I felt disconnected from myself and from everyone else. I stopped seeing my friends, reduced time with my family and stopped doing all the things that I typically enjoy most; they were just too hard.

It took me a few weeks to realize that I was uninspired to write here. I was tired, and it never seemed to stop. I finally saw an Integrative medicine specialist and we’re trying a few things. I like this specialty; it looks at health in the context fo the mind, body and spirit, which suits me. After all, these three parts of me all affect my health.

Somehow, having so little physical energy affected me emotionally, too. It felt like my entire life had come to a halt. No progress appears to be made. If I don’t feel inspired, though, I can’t make myself do much beyond the minimum. I was just existing, wondering when I’d get that cosmic kick in the butt to get going again.

Am I the only one here with a bad case of the droopy-drawers? I’ve heard a few stories from friends that are eerily similar, so my guess is that I’m not. This seems to be a time of quiet growth and ripening among us all. It’s not just the crops in the field; it’s us, too. I feel a ripening coming, and I think it’s closer than I first thought. In the meantime, I soak up the sun and feel some unseen plan falling together.