At Least I’m Not THAT Stupid

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My husband was in another room yesterday when I heard him say, “Oh. My. God.”  He’s a quiet man, rarely commenting on what he sees on TV or reads, so he had my attention. He was watching a movie that featured a man and woman who were talking while the woman stood about six feet off the ground on a ladder. My husband was irritated because the woman was standing on the ladder while wearing high heels! It was absurdly unsafe.

Snowy trees
We had six inches of snow last week, and the trees were beautiful!

I was tickled for several reasons. The woman, after all, was attractive; her make-up was impeccable, and she was dressed up. No doubt she was on the ladder to draw attention to her pretty legs, right?  Some men might be mentally urging her to go a little higher so that the man could look up her skirt. Nope. My husband only sees how unthinkably unsafe she is and griped about how the move producers should spend more time on the content and less on the outlandish lipstick and things that are unimportant. In all fairness, he has managed many engineering projects and numerous Safety Engineers, so his point of view is skewed a bit to safety first. In that moment, I once more appreciated his practical nature while he pays more attention to the story than the actresses.

napping dog
Garnet solemnly swears to stay off ladders in high heels, too.

Here I am, short, dumpy, and sometimes grumpy, and he’s okay with it as long as I don’t do something so stupid as wearing high heels on a ladder! Torts in law school covered memorable lawsuits related to idiocy like that; so even though I use ladders a lot as a short person, I never do it in high heels. I’d have to dust them off and put them on first, after all.

Gray cat
Gracie is my on-site supervisor while working remotely; my husband wisely minds his own business.

After being married for 24 years, I am grateful that this is the man I am with, 24/7 during the shutdown. I’m grateful for his work to give us each a home office, so that we can work remotely without distracting each other. He thought nothing of paying for the two big monitors, keyboard, and docking station for my work laptop so that I could work remotely with less frustration and fewer headaches. I never would have considered paying out-of-pocket for that, but he thought nothing of buying what I needed. We spend so much time working that he thought spending a few hundred dollars and sacrificing the spare bedroom was worth it. He was right.

cockatoo and banana
Sometimes I have to entice Sugar, our cockatoo to be quiet while my husband is on a conference call. This particular morning, I lured him away and into quietness with a ripe banana. Whatever works!

Thank goodness we also need about the same amount of social and solitary time, which is an often over-looked pinch-point in relationships. If he wanted a lot of attention when I wanted to be alone, or vice versa, we’d be irritable A LOT. But we are compatible here, even though we need more alone time than most.

As I continue to look for good things during the pandemic shutdown, I consider my husband to be one of them. We have always worked well together, but we also live well together. I am delighted that all his work-related travel is on hold, keeping him at home. He has completed many projects around the house since March, beginning with some kitchen cabinet customization to make things easier for me. Yay! There’s nothing better around the house than a capable man with the time, tools, and inclination to get things done. We’re lucky that we’re still suited and like each other despite being together 24/7.

Bengal cat
Nami is having a personal moment of ecstasy with my husband’s leather work gloves. For some reason, both cats have a fondness for these!


  1. We really do find a way to cope with the virus situation. Hopefully there will be some relief next year. I do feel for those with children. As a former elementary teacher I know how much kids lose even over a summer.
    My husband and I will soon celebrate our 50th and we’ve coped this far. We are at that dangerous age where we need to isolate from everyone. It is not hard for us as we are not gad abouts. Every bar in the country could close and it would not affect us. lol

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I can’t remember the last time that was in a bar! I though it funny/sad that our state has changed bar closing times based on how much Covid was spreading in the community. There was a direct correlation between late closing and virus spikes. Geez.

      I imagine in 50 years you likely do have it all sorted! We have thrived with less busy-ness. Still working but no commute has been the most helpful along with canceling all my husband’s business travel. Yay! We like just being at home, honestly. Sounds like you do,too!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Exactly! Your reply!
        Your topic: I’m not that stupid… you are one of the few that aren’t.
        I am a news watcher/reader. One never really knows who believes what. I guess you just don’t ask. Just thankful that my husband and I have the same thoughts.
        Part of our day is spent taking a nap….a benefit of growing old. lol

        Liked by 1 person

    1. My husband has had a lot of business travel most of our married life, so this was a change for us, especially since all the kids are grown and out of the house now. It’s a relief that it is all going well. I envy you having that all along!

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  2. Priceless, What a gem 🙂
    Yes, how lucky you are. (i never married because I never found a man who knew how to be silent and could sit out in nature appreciating the wind, surf/beach, and the ‘sound of silence’ or wind in the treetops).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I can appreciate how hard it is to find a partner that matches your needs in a critical way. And men who love the quiet and nature are hard to find (because they are alone in nature). You are wise to stay alone rather than getting into a relationship with a person who doesn’t fit you, just to have someone. Kudos to you for being mature and knowing yourself; it took me a long time to get there….

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  3. I think the pandemic will teach many couples that have had to work from home together just how easy it will be to be retired and spend 24/7 with each other. I’m lucky too that my husband and I (we are both retired) are very compatible and get along well. Having a handy husband is a great plus. When we had our kitchen renovated my husband made all custom drawer inserts that are wonderful.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s amazing how something so simple as a custom cabinet makes a difference. Because we have so many food restrictions, it can take the fun out of eating. So I have a lot of seasonings and spices and a cabinet full of flavored olive oils and vinegars. It was so nice that he could tame those! I am very spoiled to be married to someone who can build or fix anything – and enjoy himself while he does. I see that you understand. I’ve heard all those horror stories of retirement life, but I don’t intend to be living one of them. We’ll be fine if that time ever comes.


  4. There is so much to said in favour of considerate, compatible husbands, the pandemic could have been a whole other horror story if we did not get on with them. A lovely post. 🌻

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Ahem, I AM that stupid! I wore heel many many years ago while doing marketing for a local cruiseline. I walked up the gangway to greet the corporate crowd that was aboard the vessel, and then slipped and FELL down pretty much the entire way, very very happy that I wore appropriate undergarments. I was very bruised, emotionally and physically haha, but it was my own fault so it wouldn’t have been a good lawsuit. I should have known better but I really never learned my lesson, although I have never worn heels on a ladder. Not yet.

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    1. I’m not even sure what a gangplank looks like. Isn’t it a sloped surface? Maybe with ridges periodically for traction? Falling down that sounds horrible! I’m not sure if the high heels would be more dangerous there than other places. They are inherently dangerous, I assume. I’ve taken a tumble or two on flat ground myself!

      Liked by 1 person

        1. Ahhh. I’m afraid I was raised land-locked and I’m ignorant. Thanks for the clarification on the gangplank; I can’t hear that word without thinking about pirates! I can tell that you have taken great care to look good, and the heels are a part of that. I’ll bet it worked well for you!

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          1. I am sorry. There were good years in there, so I’m surprised. Constant work travel is hard on all relationships. I suspect his leaving is more about him than it is about you.

            Liked by 1 person

          2. I know you’re right about all of it, but the shock took its emotional and physical toll on me. I literally SAW true evil behind the mask and it changed me, not to be melodramatic. Everyone knows how much I adored him, that was real for me and actually still is, because the love really never goes away when it’s real, right? I could have probably endured almost anything but the idea that he now wanted to be”polyamory” (his word or HER word) as a way to justify multiple relationships and use me as a “pit stop” while he lived a double or triple life was my non-negotiable. Not with that soul mate anymore, I understand, but now with one of his high school girlfriends. Or so he says. I am no contact for my sanity. Thank goodness I had a legal team who understood personality disorders. And a great therapist. Unfortunately, my poor heart really did break, but my spirit is healing.

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          3. I thought it was a good sign when you returned to blogging. Thank goodness you had professionals you support you while you have been down and out emotionally. It’s hard when we learn that our heart doesn’t always have open eyes or good judgment. I learned a lot with my first marriage about that. I think the man was a pathological liar. His best friend later told me he though my x was a sociopath. 🤷🏻‍♀️ either way, it sucked. I learned a lot leaving him.

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          4. I am so sorry that you had to endure that lesson but it looks like you have something solid and authentic this time and that makes me so happy for you! You deserve all the joy and love there is in this universe. I returned to blogging in defiance -he never supported it or actually anything I was interested in, consequently, according to my neuroscientist DIL, I became a stepford wife. She’s right, but that lesson has been learned too. One day I’ll create a platform to tell my real story, but he and his flying monkeys stalk my blog so I can’t do it here. Much love for this different but still lovely holiday season!

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  6. You are indeed lucky! When I retired I heard all the predictions of how my husband (already retired) and I would clash. Never happened. We both have different interests and hobbies and then we come together for meals and Netflix (sometimes we do that separately when we don’t want to watch what the other wants). If I need socialization I will find him (usually in his workshop) and chatter at him until I get my fill. Then I go on with life. A social/solitude match is key.

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    1. I also think you’re right about the social/solitude match. I can only handle so much, and if I had a husband pushing me to do more, there would be a lot of conflict. So glad to hear that retirement worked for you both. I’ve heard those stories, too!

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      1. My ex was way more outgoing than I was. He never wanted to stay home. After a few years, I was weary. Fortunately he did a fair amount of business travel but at the end of the day, I don’t miss all the boring social functions.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Things ever could gel for me with the extroverts I dated. Thank goodness! I get pretty tired and irritable when I don’t get enough quiet time. You probably handled that better than I did!

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