When Love is a Verb

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Two parrots sit close together. One is white, while the other is green and red. Although they look nothing alike, they are nonetheless close emotionally and physically.
My husband and I look a little like this, now –two very different peas in the same tight pod.

My husband and I celebrated a significant anniversary this summer, and it seemed a bit surreal. We’ve accumulated a lot of memories and been through a lot raising four children together. Did it feel like we needed to celebrate that? After all, we still love each other and we’re still alive, so of course, we’ve been married twenty-five years! Although many will consider all the romantic moments in such a relationship, I’m not sure I can. My husband and I are practical people, and romance isn’t something we cultivate. But he always tells me love is a verb, so I have reflected on the verbing over the many years.

Gray cat with light green eyes examines a bouquet of roses.
My husband has been very liberal with the flowers, which I always enjoy. Here, Gracie examines some roses.

What stands out, because we are practical people after all, are the times he saved my life. The first time, I was carrying my toddler and was about to cross a street in Sante Fe, where we were vacationing. I looked both ways and started to cross. My husband’s hand shot out and pulled me back before I was run over. It seems that there was a car hidden from my view by my toddler’s chunky body. Oh. Thank you! He doesn’t even remember this one; it was just a natural reaction.

A gray cat sits in a window with mad ears, looing at the Bengal cat who wants her spot.
There were a few fights over the years, but they just a little growling, much like this disagreement between Nami and Gracie.

And then there was the time in a parking lot outside a restaurant. We were leaving, and the parking lot was quiet. I headed to our car, and suddenly a jacked-up truck that had been idling revved its engine and pulled out of its lane, and headed straight for me. I’m pretty short, and I don’t think the driver even saw me in the way. My husband was a few steps behind me, and he reached out and slammed the side of the truck with his fist. The truck stopped, and I safely made it to my car. Thank you! My husband remembers this one but doesn’t think he did anything hero-worthy.

A Bengal cat lays across the center of a card game in progress.
There were family game nights, which the cats wanted to join.

And the last time, I was eating at a family dinner at our house when I began to choke on a piece of meat. A little bit of air could get past the food, but I couldn’t get enough air, and the bite wasn’t moving. My husband quietly walked over, did the Heimlich maneuver, and I was fine. I have since joked that if I ever have to do the same for him, I’ll either have to stand on a chair behind him, or he’ll have to kneel on the floor before me because I could never get the right movements otherwise. He’s a foot taller than me, and it would be a bit of a challenge – but I would do whatever it took.

A shaggy gold dog looks      into the camera, the pebbling on her nose quite clear. She looks serious, not smiling.
There were serious times, to be sure.

So, there you have it. No romance to speak of, but there is clearly love.

Here’s a toast to another 25 years!

A smiling poodle has her mouth open, tongue at the ready.
Here’s to a few more happy years!

29 comments

  1. Congratulations on your anniversary. It was definitely a significant one. I like how you remember all the good things he’s done and does. That’s the way to be happily married if’n you ask me.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Until you started commenting on my posts today, I hadn’t realized that my “follow” of your blog got dropped. That has happened with other blogs I follow too. Trying again, as I do enjoy reading them.
    Wishing you a belated happy anniversary. Our trip this weekend is for our 13th wedding anniversary. My hubbie knows me better than I know myself, and remembers to buy me the “right” wine, food, etc. Not grand gestures, but a loving consideration. We’re still best friends and partners and lovers after being together for about 18 years!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. **APAWSS APAWSS** 25 yeerss iss simple amazin Miss Karel an THE Mistur!! Yore husband ISS a Hero an ’cause hee not think he iss; hee iss even more rite??? ‘)
    BellaSita told mee a story ’bout her last Husband Mistur Kecin who was over a foot taller than her! Hee had a sense of ‘balance’ so if hee bought sumthin at a Yard sale hee wuud buy sumthin fore BellaSita. When hee got coffee; hee brott her her fave coffee. If hee bott an article like a sweater hee wuud buy her a sweater….shee said hee was THE kindest man….hee allwayss thott of her….
    ***purrss*** BellaDharma an warm (((huggiess))) BellaSita

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Congratulations and happy belated anniversary! Love is a verb. There’s not much more romantic or heroic than someone saving our life and being our teammate through everything. My husband and I are equal teammates and that is ‘romantic’. We love and adore each other, but rarely show public displays of affection. It’s hard to describe to others, how our hearts are so happy and fully connected. We just don’t need or expect all the performances others seem to cherish. Our True Love Story is perfect for us.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes, and I didn’t even mention the time he rescued my toddler and I from an aggressive panhandler! Ha, ha! He always seems to be there at the right time.

      Like

  5. We are not romantic people either. We don’t fawn over each other or get all showy but we are there for each other all the time. This works for us and we do the occasional celebration but we celebrate every day. Happy anniversary to you both!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you; it’s good to know that we aren’t the only ones. I don’t need a grand gesture; I need someone that scoops the litter box or cleans up a child’s vomit in the middle of the night. I need a workmate more than anything.

      Liked by 1 person

        1. Yes! I’m afraid my husband has been on scoop duty since I got pregnant with our youngest, and he hasn’t been relieved… That is truly a gift. I’m glad you have a keeper! Litter scooping and Starbucks – a good guy!

          Liked by 2 people

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