Place of Refuge, offering

Love, Like a Rock

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I want to thank someone dear to me for providing such a wonderful example of being a good mother. Her adult daughter was unhappy in her marriage and made some long-lasting choices while leaving that marriage. It ended with a divorce and a new baby by a new father. This loving mother stood by her daughter, despite the gossip of their social peers, and welcomed her new grandchild with open arms. The heart wants what the heart wants, and when a miserable marriage needs to be left in the dust, our hearts often take us to new places to find a path out. This new baby is a wonderful change agent for them all; I can only imagine the wonderful ways he will change the whole family.

Sacrifice at the Place of Refuge, Hawaii Island

The mother is a role-model for us all. Her love for her daughter was stronger than social convention, and it’s that acceptance and loyalty that helps pave the way for social acceptance by everyone.  The daughter can hold her head high, knowing that she has her mother’s support, no matter what. She chose the heart’s path, and there is nothing wrong with that. I respect the way that she stood straight, was honest with all involved, and went about her life. As for the nasty gossips? My guess is that they are unhappy with their own lives, so it pleases them to criticize others.

There is an old Chinese proverb:  “Take risks. If you win, you get rich. If you lose, you get wise.” I think that I’ve made some pretty painful choices in my life, but I’ve made some good ones too. There are some that looked pretty stupid to others, but I can look back on my life and see that they were the smartest things I’ve ever done.  I’ve learned from all my experiences, I hope. Who would I be if I criticized someone else for doing the same thing? I have the feeling that, in retrospect, this may be the smartest thing she ever did. She left behind a painful, lonely life for freedom, love, and being who she wants to be. Bravo!

The light at the end of the Tree Tunnel, Hawaii island

Good job, mom, for standing by her! Good job, daughter, for finding happiness, opening your heart, and dealing with it above-board. Life is too short to be socially acceptable but absolutely miserable.


    1. We’re safe for now, but have coworkers in evacuation zones. Fire outside of Boulder and Colorado Springs are already burning suburban homes. We see smoke to the north, south, and west. The fire that threatens my friends in Ft. Collins is expected to be put out, maybe, by July 30. That’s a long time to burn. Hundreds of houses lost already. The fire outside of Colorado Springs is truly terrifying, as the winds keep whipping up the flames further, and the big tanker planes can’t fly in the steep mountain valleys. It feels like the whole state is burning, allthough I know it isn’t. For the best news, if you know where your friends live, can be found at For now, your concern is well-placed, but evacuations have beenn timely and no deaths reported, so far, with that fire. Certainly, there are is lots of chaos.


  1. Kdkh:
    I am overwhelmed. Thank you. My heart is so touched. You have always been loved and cherrished although I know there were times when you didn’t feel it. Those times pained me as much as they did you. I prayed to have you and thanked God the day you were born. I have always admired your courage.

    Some of my precious memories of you:
    Crawling through the house faster than I could run through it!
    Running in your little spider walker with the dog chasing you.
    Screaming your head off the day the cat tried to take your hamburger away from you!
    Sitting in your highchair at the breakfast table “writing” your stories when you could barely talk.
    Going fishing with your dad. Getting your first bicycle. (Rosie) Sitting in your favorite spot in the Mimosa tree.
    Dancing on TV with your sister and the two neighbor girls….in your GoGo boots and long hair.
    Your first date when he put you in the back seat and he got in the front seat next to his dad.
    Your determination to go to South America to give medical care to the natives when you were only 15 and the way you traded babysitting to a Hispanic FBI agent in return for Spanish lessons so you could qualify to go…even though you were younger than the requirement age. You worked hard and you went.

    How it pained my heart when you left for college…never to live at home again.
    Seeing you as a mother.
    Seeing you get your JD.

    There are lots of precious memories of precious moments in time. Thank you for all the good times and for being a good daughter.



  2. If we’re going to live fully we have to choose for ourselves, no matter what others think. Bravo to the woman for her courage to choose and to the mother for her support. That’s what it’s all about.


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