Shake it up

Fear Transformed into Action

I’m a studier, ruminator, reader, thinker, analyst, ponderer. I think about things. A lot. I’ve noticed that during the past few years, I’ve been far more comfortable learning more about a subject than I am comfortable actually acting upon what I’ve learned. I tell myself that I’m not ready, and I make that statement right. I wasn’t ready. My feet were stuck in mud, and my gear in neutral. So I read, studied, learned, and pondered. My “action” often was meditation, which felt like progress, but didn’t really look like action. But it was, after all, what I needed. My thoughts changed their tenor. A lot. My thoughts have had a sea change in the past few years.

This summer, I took a few classes, stretching my wings, jiggling the gear shift a little. Then, I did something that I didn’t want to do with what I learned – I used it, ready or not. And it felt good. I put it to work. My activity wasn’t perfect, but it was good enough to show me I could do it.

All of a sudden, that’s all I want to do. I want to do everything. I want to take everything I’ve studied and use it to DO something. Everything seems to be coming together, even the meditation piece. After all, without the kind of centering, focusing, and renewal of my spirit, who’s to say that my action would have been appropriate?

Who would have guessed? I’m not afraid to do anything anymore. I’m not afraid of doing it wrong, doing too much, doing too little, or doing it in the wrong direction. Whew! After years of being a slug, I’m ready to go. Who would’ve guessed? I don’t know who lit a fire under my tail feathers, but I’m ready to fly.

16 replies »

  1. I’m still in the sluggish stage. Is there really life after slug? lol
    I like your lily pad picture. It is peaceful looking. And the purple background is nice too.
    To have a peaceful life……surround yourself with peaceful looking things. 🙂

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    • I’m not saying that there isn’t a measure of chaosi in my life, but I can say that there’s a good dose of happiness, contentment, and compassion. And it hasn’t always been that way. I had to give up a lot of baggage to get here. Wish I had all the answers, but I don’t. It has taken me a long time to stop being afraid of growing so that my life has outgrown the slug stage.!

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  2. Wow that’s GREAT! How wonderful for you. I need an energy infusion like yours. Too many things have gone wrong in this year of my life (and more are mounting – it feels like a test and I’m losing) and they’ve been successful in breaking down my positive, go-get-’em attitude. I’m now in neutral and heading toward a full stop, which makes me feel even worse. Your post is inspiring and I’ll return to it when I need a kick in the pants.

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  3. Those butterfly pictures are gorgeous! Now that you are out of it and into the action mode, you ought to fly over the universe. You accomplished more in your stall that most people do when they are trying their hardest to move forward.

    It is nice to feel you have arrived at a new level of understanding your goals and gathered new energy to accomplish them. Congratulations.

    Mom

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